Sunday, 30 December 2007

Tryin' To Fit In (Thinking back of how i was treated and neglect)

Always tried to fit into the "smart people" group but never succeed.. And i tried to fit into the average group, never succeed as well, and tried to fit in the "low class" group, failed as well.. Been hurt a lot of times and when i think of what i did before that makes them change their point of view on me makes me feel that i can't be fitted in just because of what I've done before... But i think it's not what I've done that destroyed my image, it's what the teachers think about me..
I remembered my science teacher hated me a lot and let the bullies push me around in class when in primary school.. I still remembered the pain of getting pushed around, it's not how they hit me that's painful, it's how they treated me that hurts me deep inside.. I remembered my science teacher looking at me laughing while getting bullied by one of her favorite student in class.. Actually i had a terrible childhood, I've been neglect when i was primary 1 and 2 in a tuition behind my grandma's house almost every afternoon, i remembered my teacher used to twist my ear each and everyday when i couldn't spell the word out, or sometimes i get treated with a 100 times stroke (each hand 50 strokes of rattan) till my hand bleed.. Then usually i cried when it's time to go to tuition because it was like sending me to hell.. Then my mom didn't know i often get neglect by the teacher till the day she bleeds me... After a month, i never went back there anymore...
Then there's another tuition center which toucher me a lot, but of course not as bad as the one behind my grandma's house, i remembered that my teacher took a scissors and cut my golden necklace and pretended to teach me how to read the chinese word.. Thank god she failed to do so... All these useless tuition made me fail my UPSR and made me go through transition and wasted 1 year..
I think next time i won't let my children go to tuitions like these, i don't wanna destroy their childhood... I think if i had a proper childhood like everyone else, I will be someone more than i am now...

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