Not Again Part 2

Sighs... Why is my life so miserable these few days? Hmm just got invited from a friend for a drink and i rejected it cause i had a lot of things to do yet i need to sleep early, and he doesn't sound happy.. Well i wish i can hang out with him but i really can't.. Unless I'll be dead tomorrow... Sighs Felt so guilty about it...
Anyway i wish i didn't blog about "Making Fun On Other Religions" because i think i did hurt the others.. Well i guess so.. Unless they are not a sensitive freak like me!!! I tought they wouldn't open my blog but who knows? I think now my friends will look at me differently from now on... How i wish that didn't happen and how i wish i could turn back the time and think before i do anything.. Sighss!!! I wish there's a memory remover device like the one in Man In Black which delete the last thing you remembered and use it on me... So i can forget about everything and proceed on...

I think i really need a vacation to start all over when I'm back... But... I can't afford to go travelling and i need my money to get a new phone...
Well, i just think that I'm just having a bad day that's all, or in other words, "bad month", or "unlucky month"... I wish things didn't go this way..

Anyway i think I'm the prob, I used to think that I'm very kind, I'm smart, I'm thin, I'm special and etc, I'm generous, everyone liked me and so on... but you're not sean!!!!, you are not special, you are not smart, and you are not even kind at all!!! I can tell that a lot of your friends didn't like you at all, they just pretend to fake a smile at you so you can have that pleasant feeling to be around... Like the guy who always ask you for lunch for instance, I don't think he really liked you either!!! Why they didn't like you? Cause you're nasty and you're an idiot who always think about yourself instead of others, and you're a sensitive freak who can't take a joke, and you are a difficult person to live with!!! And you also used to criticize on a friend of your that he's annoying, stupid, and etc, and you also used to criticize on other people's singing talent and see what you turn out to be? it stroke back at you sean!!! Anyway i guess you didn't change a bit since primary school, you are still the same old idiot that everyone hates in class!!! And what about all your assignments? When are you gonna finish it? Are you gonna be the same old douchbag who never wanna finish you homework? As a concious, i say this is for your own good!!!

I did post about criticizing on others which titled: "Speak No Evil, It'll Strike Back". It's really true that we shouldn't criticize and make fun of others cause now it all stroke back at me and i feel so fucked up and miserable... If this continues, i think I'll be in the mental hospital...

Well, i guess i just gotta leave the past behind and forget about it... Wonder what it's like tomorrow... I just hope it will be a better and happier tommorow for me...

Not Again...

Been hurt again... I wonder when will it end... Jesper said that i was being too sensitive which i think maybe i really AM a bit too sensitive... While advices from Kenny and Nicholes were something like: just be yourself... Well, i guess i just let it be... Let it masuk from my left ear and keluar from my right ear.. if both side masuk and cannot keluar, then fart it out also not bad what...
I know i know, why all negative post these few days, well, I like to talk about feelings, I'm emotional hehe... I love gossip as well, who said guys don't gossip? We do!!

Sighs

Just had a huge fight with my 2nd bro again.... Why do we fight? Because i accused him on simply downloading stuff into my comp (well, that's not really the point), i locked the administrator account because i don't want others to simply install programs into my comp which made it slow like my previous OS so i don't need to reinstall it from time to time... How i wish i have my own space and my own room my own toilet and etc so things wouldn't be like that... Ok, i admit i have attitude problems, I always want things to go my way or in other words: i do things the way i like it, i always want things to be perfect.. And i always critic on others without looking at how suck i am, i always think I'm very kind, I'm perfect and etc... Sighs... I don't need all these shit!!!! I guess I'm a blackship of this Poh family... Can't wait to have my own permanent and stable job and earn my own money and buy a cozy house of my own... If they don't need me, then just throw me at the House of Orphanage instead... Cut out my name from the Poh family, or kill me if you want to since you'all think I'm a virus of this family... I feel like everything i did is wrong, i always want things to be perfect and wished everyone lived a harmonious life till the fullest, but it always fucked up and turns out to be crap!!!! I'm always envious of my friends family which doesn't fight with each other as well as their relatives and their parent's do not quarrel... Like Kenny and Jesper for example... See how happy their families are? See how they smile when they welcome their guest, you can tell they welcome you all the time from their heart...
Btw, i think I really "ARE" the blackship of this family, why? because i have the darkest skin among all, i looks more asian compared to my siblings, I'm sissy, the things i like is different than all of them, I'm dumb, I can't speak properly, I'm the one who undergoes transition, I'm the one who only had 1 date, I'm the one who eats a lot, I'm the one who have Panau filled all over my body, I'm the one who looks like as if I'm adopted from other family, and I'm the one my parent's spend the least on... (Well i think so)... I'm the one who have the ugliest teeth, I'm stingy, nasty and my hobby is singing!!!! Well, I'm odd rite? Guess you are nodding your head reading this blog... I think I'll go crazy with the stress i have in college and the stress i have at home... Well, i guess god just want me to struggle first and have a harmonious life in the future after i retire from everything...

I Passed!!!! YAY!!!

I finnaly passed my driving law test after flunked twice. I had a feeling that i will fail again this time, but who know? i got 43/50 which made me smile from the moment i pressed the result button till now... I kept smiling till my cheeks are tired... HAHAHHA

Oh My God!! Yucks!! (Valentine's Day)

Guess what i received on Valentine's day? I received a comment on Friendster saying that I'm Hot and Happy Valentine's Day.. Thanks for the compliment though but then it's FROM A GUY!! Oh YUCKS!!! I'm having goose bumps now cause it's really strange to receive a valentine's day message from the same sex which I'm definitely WON'T get attracted to.. It's so gay... Eeeww!
I can't imagine myself french kissing a guy or having f*cked through my cornholes... Seesh it's disgusting.. I know i look gay to some of you but I'm not. I do admire guys but sorry, that doesn't makes me gay.. I'm straight NOT gay... I prefer girls than guys and oh, I'll only approve your Valentine's Day comment if you are a female... So,........... sorry to the gay guy who sent me the comment, I'm not interested and I have deleted your comment.. If you send me comments like this again, I'll delete you from my Friendster. Cause I'm not a freakin' gay

Speak No Evil, It'll Strike Back

I noticed whenever i critic on others, it'll strike back at me, laughing at my brother for having curly hair is one good example, just look how curly my hair turns out to be after puberty? And i used to laughed at him for being fat, and see who's getting fatter? I used to say I'm too black, and see how fair i turns out to be? (It's a good thing though hehe)..
And see who got lice when i was discussed after knowing the girl sitting behind me who had lice? It gave me dandruff after mom killed all the lice... And see who's computer turns out to be the lousiest after criticizing my bro's computer? And see who's phone turn out to be the lousiest after showing off my stupid Motorola C350 to all my friends when i first purchased it? And see who's spoken English is getting more and more lousy after criticizing the people on TV? And see who's singing talent is getting worst and worst?

Yes It's all me, it stroke back at me...

So my advice for today is: Don't criticize others... It'll strike back...

Think of others... Do Not Be too Over Confident of What You Said..

Well, i'm not gonna mention any names, i just gonna say it directly.. If you bring someone to a place, ask them whether are they ok or comfortable to go to that place or not before bringing them to the place, and don't make decision for anyone without their knowledge or ask them first before making any decisions.. Secondly, think of how others feel. And also, do not be so over confident about yourself, I mean you said you will earn a lot of money by the age of 30, i mean how do you know if you really can earn a lot of money by the age of 30? I mean it's good to dream big and aim big, but then it's not if you sell off your gold to a stranger letting him off with it saying that he will pay you back the money tomorrow.. What if he didn't return with the money? What are you gonna?What are you gonna do if you fail to earn a lot of money by the age of 30? If you get what i mean. It's common sense, you don't even know the future how do you know you're gonna earn big by the age of 30? It's good to aim for big money but don't be too over confident about it as you do not know whether you're gonna succeed or not... So, what ever you do, think first before you react...

Racist!!

What i hate about people is racist.. When will people start to realize that we are all just people and we all came from the same creator? We just have different skin colors and family backgrounds and culture, that's all!! Why wanna hate each other when it's impossible to get rid of one and another? And why wanna hate each other when you're living in a Malay country?
I really hate it when i hear people say stupid Malays, stupid Chinese or stupid dayaks stupid angmo and so on... Not just because you see a bunch of Malays did something bad that makes all of them the same... What about Chinese people with pirated CDs? Or an Indian being a snatch thieve? NOT ALL OF THEM are the same OK? Only those with low IQ moron will be a racist... I mean, it's really hard when you're in between both races, just like me, I'm in between Chinese and American, and it really hurts my feelings when my Chinese friends talked bad about American white or the whites saying bad things about Chinese... Yet i have a lot of close friends from different colors, Gaziani for example from the non Chinese category, or Seeta, Dolly, Nazrin, Alphonsius, Sarita, Firdaus Fitria Fino and so on. And from the Chinese category: Aaron Jesper Gerg Kenny Nicholas Jaclyn Ally Q Dwing and etc... I don't see anything wrong mixing with different ethnics..
Anyway i guess we can't live without racist in this world, it's been goin' on and on for centuries and it will be this way until the very end..